Just start it with something.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm here...

I think the thinking is that I'll feel better if I blog, maybe be able to have my say... But what do I want to say...?

A million things at once and yet nothing at all. I think I'd rather not have to say anything, I'd rather be able to go about my day entertaining myself and the ones that I love. I do tend to love everyone though, and I genuinely want everyone to succeed. It's like what do you say when you pray, or *wish,* or encant (enchant? cantrip? no, what's the word...), when you wish to commune with a higher being your hopes and dreams and desires for the word (and yourself, or maybe you're just talking to yourself, or blogging to yourself). I'm not sure if it's a hope that you'll change, or the world with change, or you're just speaking into the aether to not feel lonely.

I usually say I want everyone to know they are loved. To grant them strength and clarity. I want to wish that no one dies or suffers. I don't think that's happened yet that there's been a day where no one or "thing" in the entire world has had a "bad day," or not died (an impossibility for creatures that don't live at least 24 hours, although perhaps they measure time differently... we did, after all, kind of "invent" time as we know it), and animals eat other animals, wars happen on the other side of the planet, although shooting happen here. AND apparently everything sunny all the time gets boring.

I don't know.

I would like my life to mean something. I don't want it to mean that I am or was just another screaming face/talking head/dude who's got "all the knows" and he's somehow secretly sharing it with you for only 3 EASY payments of 29.99, and is making other people scream and not get along. To that effect, I want people to get along. Probably if there's any point to me writing or doing anything it's that I want people to get along, to be entertained, to be excited, to be hopeful, to learn, to grow.

I also get angry at stuff and sometimes would like to call people out for doing things that I think are divisive or insidious. In doing so that kind of makes me similar, but I think an awful lot of people have blinders on. Myself included, in some manner I'm sure. Oh this is getting boring.

I want to do "all the things," starting with the important ones. The things that are the most important are probably the hardest and (seemingly and most likely are) the most difficult to change, that's probably why I get tired and decide not to do anything, that and a variety of other concomitant factors or related morbidities (that may or may not exist, at least not as I understand it). Or. Like. Whatever.

This is probably just another attempt for me to push the ball. We'll see... How do I do strikethroughs... ahhh... We'll see I'll see (no no, that's hardly fair to the reader, I mean, at least if no one is reading your blog, the internet is still reading it and that's something, right?) I'll see We'll see how it goes. I wish you all the lucks. I'm going to try to make my own (owe-n).